The Price of Love

September 20, 2006 at 12:32 pm | In On being a mother, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment

There was a really fascinating article by writer Nick Louth on MSN recently (read the full piece here http://money.uk.msn.com/Investing/Insight/Special_Features/Active_Investor/article.aspx?cp-documentid=892488) in which he asks the question ‘Are kids worth it?’  He presents a strong argument against having children, mostly financial, but finally reveals himself as a dad and concludes: “However daft it may seem to economists, parental altruism still seems to earn a fat return in love. When so much in the world boils down to pounds and pence, it is somehow comforting that the relationship between parents and their kids isn’t like that.When it comes to kids, love may cost us dear, but we don’t care.” 

There was much in the piece that got me thinking, as well as wanting to punch the computer screen with indignant rage – how dare he compare kids to a financial investment! – but it was his last comment that stuck.  Love does indeed cost us dear and not only when it comes to kids. In the early stages of love affairs I have maxed out the credit cards on lavish weekends away in fantastically expensive hotels, bought expensive gifts and love tokens that I can ill afford, gone completely crazy in Top Shop, French Connection etc. for THE outfit, run up monstrous mobile bills, taken time off work to indulge my passion, and so on and so on. I’m not unusual.  We all do completely barmy things when we fall in love and things being what they are in the Western world most of them cost.  Not to mention the expense when love breaks down…Children are no different.  But thankfully our emotional life is not dictated to by pounds, shillings and pence and love, especially the unconditional variety that comes with kids, is the most powerful emotion of them all. And even if you’ve not got a pot to pee in if you love and are loved then you are truly rich. 

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.” Friedrich Nietzsche

Supersmug

September 13, 2006 at 9:45 am | In On being a mother | 1 Comment

I saw Supernanny on Channel 4 last night and as I watched the clueless couple and their offspring fighting tooth and nail I got that lovely warm ‘at least I’m not that hopeless at parenting’ feeling.  I often tune in to ‘corrective’ reality TV programmes like Supernanny to make myself feel better about my parenting abilities, wrinkles, dress sense and so on.  And there are lots of you out there who do the same if the ratings are anything to go by.  For sure you can pick up the odd useful tip – God knows when Supernanny first aired ‘naughty steps’ sprang up everywhere in my neighbourhood – but mostly we watch to feel good about ourselves and either mock the poor suckers on the telly or experience the ‘there by the grace of God go I’ feeling.

Last night’s couple had two boys who were allowed to fall asleep on the sofa in front of the telly each evening. In this information abundant age it amazes me that some people simply haven’t worked out that a solid bedtime regime is good for kids, not to mention how good it is for parents who get some grown up time and with it a chance to hold onto their sanity. Do these people not talk to their own parents or friends with children for tips and handy hints?  Do they not read the exhaustive manual that came courtesy of the health centre before baby was even born covering all manner of topics from tooth care to childhood illnesses and immunisation? Of course they don’t, but just about everyone I know does.  Where do the production companies who make these programmes find their subjects, for they are nothing like anyone I’ve come across at the school gates?  And that’s the key… On the whole those who appear on reality TV programmes are nothing like those who make or watch the finished products.  Telly people even have a code when selecting participants… they are never PLUs – People Like Us. So there it is. Programmes made by the supersmug for the supersmug.  Mind you, my seven year old kicked off big time this morning and boy did I struggle to bring him under control… not feeling quite so self-satisfied now.  Must refer to that manual.

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